i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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