pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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