I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
