he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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