New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
