Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
