You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
