I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
