I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize