I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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