dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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