I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
