"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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