they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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