3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
