I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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