it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize