Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
