Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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