I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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