In the future we'll all be gay
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
