hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
