careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
