remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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