plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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