and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
