i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
