I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
