Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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