I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
