Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
