Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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