one might say we're banned from that church
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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