If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
