It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
