what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
