i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
