sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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