Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
