**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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