He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
