I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
