4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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