i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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