Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
