Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
