Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
