my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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