sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
