Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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