What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
