wat bout pragnant strippers??
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
