That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
