i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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