Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
