she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
