I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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