He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize