First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
