I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
