Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
