I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Randomize
