So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
