I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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